Yesterday we talked about SMART goals. In that framework, you make goals that are:
Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Timely.
Wait, what? You didn’t read yesterday’s email. Tsk, tsk, tsk. This is valuable stuff, baby. Hit pause on this recording and head back to yesterday’s email before continuing on.
…
Ok, now we’re all on the same page.
Writing your goals down makes a huge impact on how much of what you want to do you actually do. You’re not lost anymore, floating from impulse to impulse. You’ve got direction and, man, the things you and your brain can do with a little direction.
But…
Writing down stuff you want isn’t quite enough. The SMART framework forces you to be a crystal clear. It forces you to spend time and think through what you’re doing. It forces you to think through what you WANT and WHY (Why put in the work if it isn’t your goal?).
In this email, I want to go one step further and show you why “passing my test” is a TERRIBLE goal.
I was talking with my wife last night about friends of ours who are a bit older. Their kids are almost 20 years older than my fellas. By every measure these kids have turned out pretty bad. I’ll include that they’ve had multiple run-ins with the local police department and allow your imagination to fill in the rest.
As my wife and I were discussing a new turn of events with these friends, she graciously said “well, we have two boys who are young, and I can only hope that they turn out okay.”
My wife and I judge everyone’s parenting style and their kids’ behavior. We do this constantly. We don’t do this to look down on anyone (seriously we don’t). We do it because we want to be better parents. We want to learn what to do and what not to do. We want to do the best we can for our kids.
I’m almost to the point where this applies to you. Stick with me here, it’s worth it.
When my wife said, “we hope,” she had two meanings here. The first is that we are going to do everything in our power to make sure they turn out to be amazing human beings and members of society. The other was that there are a million different variables that we cannot control.
Outcomes are not under your control. Outcomes are way too unpredictable. You’ve seen kids from really nice families get into drugs. You’ve seen people study and study and still fail. Don’t get caught up judging success ONLY by outcomes. Outcomes are valuable, but they don’t tell the whole story. Not even close.
Outcomes are mostly how we judge ourselves:
• I failed that test = I stink.
• I didn’t lose 20 pounds this week = I stink.
• My apartment is a mess = I stink.
In all of these cases we are judging outcomes.
Most people, when they make goals, make outcome goals:
• Pass my test
• Lose 20 pounds
• Keep my apartment clean
When you fail at an outcome goal, your options are limited. You’re either a success or a failure; that’s usually the end of the story.
But when you fail at a procedural goal, you’re in a GREAT position to reevaluate and move forward to continue learning and improving.
Procedural goals would be more like this:
• I’m going to study using The Final Step EVERY night for 15 minutes for the next three months no matter what else I study.
• I’m going to run 4 days a week for 6 weeks.
• I’m going to make my bed every morning and straighten up for 15 minutes before bed every night for six weeks.
Procedural goals force you to isolate YOUR part. They get you to see and express exactly what YOU are going to do.
Now the outcome is off the table. There are only two variables left if you don’t achieve your ultimate goal. You didn’t stick to the procedure or the procedure needs to be modified.
Let’s say you ran for 6 weeks but didn’t lose 10 pounds like you’d hoped, you only lost 5lbs. Are you a failure?
No, in fact you are a raging success AND you can reevaluate and keep going. Not only are you not a failure but you learned a lot in those six weeks and now you can do better moving forward. You can now add in something about diet or the amount you run or whatever.
My second point is that we can and should be judging others and ourselves, but not only by our outcomes. That should be part of it, but not all of it.
I don’t judge and condemn my surgeons, or my kids when they get into trouble. Sometimes you knock over your glass at diner. Sometimes there are adhesions at the umbilicus for no foreseeable reason. Things happen.
But when you put your water glass on the edge of the table… When you’re doing a tubal and you place a suprapubic port and you can’t reach anything the whole case… Those are procedural issues. I judge and condemn those harshly. That way we can all do better next time. We can grow and get better.
I’m not condemning the outcomes. I’m condemning the procedures. The things they did or didn’t do along the way that put them into a good or bad position.
The same goes for those friends of ours. I’m not condemning them for how their kids turned out. I’m judging them for the things I saw and things I didn’t see them do as parents. I’m judging their procedures along WITH their outcomes. I’m trying to learn what I can from their procedures AND their outcomes.
Start looking into your procedures. Start judging yourself on your procedures and see where it takes you. You going to start IMPRESSING yourself rather than beating yourself up all the time.
Use the SMART framework and create procedural goals. Grade yourself on how well you follow the procedure and grade the procedure on how well it gets you to where you want to go. Then start again with all the new information you’ve gathered.
Brian Wallace
P.S. The Final Step was designed to fit nicely into any procedural goal system. Specifically, spaced repetition is when you use the book for a set period of time every day; that makes the most sense as you make your way towards your exam.